Are you a helicopter parent? If so, it's time to land your chopper, and fast, says some tweet I found on the Internet. I tend to agree with that piece of advice.
We all know one. They are the parents that feel the need to sweep all obstacles out of the paths of their children, in an attempt to resolve their children's problems, and to try to stop them from coming into harm by keeping them out of dangerous situations, says Wikipedia.
To some degree, those of us with children have all fallen prey to being labeled by others a "helicopter parent." It is pure, unadulterated instinct to protect your child.
Last weekend, Chris and I went to God of Carnage, a play written by Jasmina Reza. It was at the Myrna Loy Center. It was so entertaining. First off, you can't go wrong at the Myrna Loy. They serve beer and wine in the theater. There are four characters in the play, two sets of parents, that meet, trying to resolve a problem that happened between their two children in the public park. One child hit the other child with a stick and knocked two of his teeth out (incisors, I believe). Any parent could find him/herself in one, or more, of these four characters from time to time. Maybe that is why I thought it was so funny; I could so relate.
I could relate because my child had a tooth knocked out by another child at recess in the 1st grade. I could also relate because I became quite hysterical when the principal told me that the kid that did it would never do such a thing. Hello. Never? No parent, or principal, should ever back themselves into a corner by saying this child would "never" do anything like that. As my little 1st grader was sitting in the principal's office, for the first time ever, missing a tooth, the message to him was loud and clear: "Little Johnny would never do that, so YOU must be lying." Well, I was not going to stand for that.
I had a discussion with the mother, who, by the way, was mortified that her son had done it. He admitted to everyone he had done it, which was very refreshing and made the principal look like a buffoon. The kids were playing soccer, and my child had the ball. When the other child couldn't get the ball from my child, he simply bashed him in the mouth with his fist. The other child's mother offered to pay for my child to go to the dentist. Nothing was required medically because it was nothing more than a loose tooth ready to come out. If anything, this bash helped the process along. I had to take my child to the dentist just about every time he had a loose tooth because he couldn't bear the thought of pulling his own, so this playground encounter actually saved me $50. The thing I was hysterical about was the principal making such a ludicrous statement. My son told the principal his side of the story, and the principal simply dismissed it and did not believe him. Crap happens; not with the intent of inflicting pain and knocking out a tooth, but a little 1st grader gets frustrated playing a game and lashes out. Pretty simple and pretty understandable. It does not mean that the little one was a heathen (uncivilized) or anything, just 1st graders sorting out life on the playground.
Back to the play. Veronica, the helicopter mom in the play, was hysterical. She was also my neighbor years ago. Her dad lives across the street from me still. "Veronica" now lives out of town, but she was required to spend a lot of time in Helena rehearsing for the play, which means we got to spend some time with her, as she was staying at her dad's. We love "Veronica" in real life. She is funny, witty, smart, and delightful to chat with. She is also single with no children. I spent the 90 minutes of the play trying not to laugh the entire time, which was incredibly hard to do, but "Veronica" pulled it off with perfection . She would make a great helicopter mom.
Most of the time, I think it is best to let your kids fight their own battles. You can certainly help guide the process, but there is a lot to be said for two little people figuring out the best way to get over a hurdle. There will be many hurdles in life, might as well get a jump start now.
"To succeed in life, you need three things: a wishbone, a backbone and a funnybone." ~ Reba McEntire
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